The six types of nonlistening discussed in this chapter are pseudolistening,
monopolizing, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing, and literal listening. I find that the most common type of
nonlistening in my communication would be pseudolistening. Since I am a student I tend to do this type
of nonlistening in class when the professor it talking. I am usually always on my phone texting or
looking online while the professor is talking and every now and then I look up
to make them think I am listening. I
also have found that sometimes I do this type of nonlistening with my husband. He loves his hobbies and loves to talk about
them. However, when he talks to me about
hockey or what parts he needs to rebuild his motorcycle I tend to use pseudolistening. Since I am using this type of nonlistening I give
him irrelevant responses because I wasn’t really paying attention and listening. Since I engage in pseudolistening my husband
often times thinks I don’t care about him and his hobbies. I don’t like that he feels this way because I
am interested in what makes him happy it is just the things he does aren’t
interesting to me. So I need to listen
to him better to support him. I think paraphrasing
would work to help me understand what he is saying and make him feel like I am listening
to what he is saying. By doing this it
will hopefully eliminate my tendencies to engage in pseudolistening and make
him understand that I am really listening and really do care.
Hi Bee Westlake. It was good to read your blog because I can connect myself with similar situation. However, it is opposite in relation with my husband, because he is the one who talks the most and I listen. He pseudo listens to me and believe me if the topic is important to me it really feels bad when you can make out that he is pretending to pay attention. I think effective listening is very important to nurture a relationship because that we can understand each other much better. I know it is difficult! But listening is a skill that can be acquired with practice. After all we have two ears and one mouth.
ReplyDeleteHello there, i really enjoyed reading your post this week on the six different types on nonlistening. Just like yourself I am at fault of psedolistening during some of my classes here on campus. The problem that I have with some of my classes id that I am too tired to pay attention to the important lectures that my teachers give. I can overcome this by staying on top of the assigned reading ans making sure I get a good night sleep before going to the classroom. Listening is a very important quality in life. I believe that if one person takes the time to listen to a problem you have you should sit and be thoughtful and pay attention.
ReplyDeleteHi there, I enjoyed reading your blog this early morning or super late since it's like one in the morning. anywho, i can really relate since i'm on my phone and doing whatever when they professors are lecturing. If or when i'm married i would be the same way ahahah. I don't hockey and what kind of tools and what not they need to get to fix their motorcycle but i will just act like i'm listening to be nice. I also would act like i'm listening because i don't want this little problem turning into something big or an argument. I hope the skills you try with your nonlistening forms really help you out, if not he can deal with it ;P
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree with you on all the points, you said on being a pseudo listener. It’s hard to really focus on what someone is saying to you, if it really not benefiting you at that time. I love the game soccer, and my girl friend, don’t really like it. I find myself paying more attention to her after a game is over, mind you, she must have enjoyed the game with me too, to secure my attention. I tried so many times to recollect stuffs she tells me, when ever am doing something of my interest, and it upsets her a lot if I don’t remember a thing she says.
ReplyDelete