I thought the section about owning your own feelings and
thoughts was so interesting. The section
talks about how we don’t take responsibility for how we feel and what we
think. I am taking a health science
class and we just learned about communicating better. To be a better communicator we need to use “I”
instead of “you.” What I found
interesting is that I catch myself doing this a lot. When my husband and I get into a heated conversation
all I say is “you make me feel” and not “I feel”. When saying “you make me feel” the person you
are talking to immediately goes into defense mode because what you are saying makes
them feel like they are being attacked.
In order to have successful communication you need to take responsibility
for your own feelings and say “I feel” and not “you make me feel.” I have been trying to own my feelings
lately and I feel it makes communicating with others much better especially when
I get in heated conversations with my husband.
By owning my feelings in a heated conversation I find that the conversation
doesn’t escalate and get out of control.
Hi Bee Westlake! I completely have to agree with you about appreciating this section, for I too am a victim of using "you" language quite often—most especially with the people I value most. I have noticed that in all of my arguments with my mother for instance, she tends to use the “you” language at me every time, which in turn triggers my emotions to be negative ones and retaliate back. Instead I should refrain from getting angry and know she is just not communicating effectively and instead pause and use “I” language back. I feel like doing this will help me communicate more effectively with her and possibly teach her a little something about her own language and how it makes me feel. Thanks Bee Westlake!
ReplyDeleteAmanda :)
Oh yes, that section was really deep. I am the type of girl who does not like to judge and tries my best to keep those thoughts away. But we're all human and it happens, no one is perfect. I can never own up to be jealous, I used to think owning my feelings made me look weak. I do not want everyone to know my weak side, but then you're right, it doesn't solve a problem by being arrogant and self-centered. We are all so quick to blame some one else but ourselves, instead of feeling better I feel even more guilty. Continue to discover the new you :) -Peace& Love
ReplyDeleteI also found this section in the text to be very interesting. Everyone’s heard the phrase “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it,” but many people don’t apply this to themselves. Using “I” instead of “you” when describing feelings and thoughts is an effective way to communicate with others and can strengthen relationships with various people. I think that this is something that is often overlooked not just in relationships, but in workplaces as well. At my previous job, my manager would always make me feel threatened because she would always tell me what I was doing wrong in a very rude way by saying “you screwed up”. If she had said something along the lines of “I feel that you could’ve done this differently, let me have someone show you” I probably would still be with the company and not hate it so much.
ReplyDelete